Guidance

Feel Confident About Valentine’s Day Intimacy, Even During Perimenopause

The Oova Team

The pressure to be intimate on Valentine's Day can cause anxiety for those experiencing perimenopause symptoms. Here's how to help reduce that anxiety.

Published:

Feb 12, 2025

Est. Read Time:

Perimenopause can be a confusing, stressful, and uncomfortable time for a lot of women, especially if they have started feeling unlike themselves suddenly, and seemingly without explanation. From an intimacy perspective, perimenopause can come with an array of symptoms that can make sex unappealing, like a low libido (due to hormone fluctuations) or vaginal dryness, which can put women off of sex even during the most romantic day of the year.

During a time when sex and intimacy are prioritized by many couples, it can sometimes feel stressful to be approaching Valentine’s Day while navigating perimenopause symptoms. Here’s how to feel empowered and excited about Valentine’s Day this year, in collaboration with our partner Kindra.

How does perimenopause affect sex and intimacy?

One of the common symptoms of perimenopause is low sex drive, or libido. During perimenopause, estrogen, which influences sexuality, starts declining, causing physiological differences in how the body responds to arousal.

Estrogen is also responsible for blood flow to vaginal tissue. When estrogen declines, it may lead to vaginal dryness, making the thought of intimacy uncomfortable and unappealing. Many experience painful sex because of vaginal dryness. Experiencing changes in libido and other physical symptoms during perimenopause is completely normal. If you want to help alleviate some symptoms of perimenopause associated with low libido, there are several steps you can consider.

Treating vaginal dryness and painful sex

Often, treating the symptom is an easier way to treat the cause. Over-the-counter moisturizers, lubricants, or serums can alleviate vaginal dryness and painful sex, so you can look forward to intimacy again. Kindra recommends a daily lotion, like the Daily V Lotion, in addition to lubricants, as a way for women to consistently feel like “themselves” again, regarding intimacy. Kindra’s offerings are appropriate for women navigating perimenopause, empowering them sexually, and increasing confidence during periods of high pressure.

Open communication streams with your partner

During perimenopause, it may feel stressful or uncomfortable to communicate these symptoms to your partner, especially due to the increased pressure around Valentine’s Day. However, communicating your symptoms and physical experience with your partner is an essential step to enjoying intimacy this Valentine’s Day. An open dialogue helps your partner cultivate the tools to support you during this phase of your life, and can foster a deeper connection that can, in turn, create a deeper emotional intimacy that can make physical intimacy more enjoyable.

Prioritize your sexual pleasure

The pressure to please a partner can often prohibit enjoyment of sex, especially during perimenopause when libido can take a dip. Instead of focusing on the pressure to please, prioritize your own sexuality and enjoyment, by engaging your body’s sexual response unpartnered, and by being communicative with a partner about what you need. Taking the spotlight off your partner can help make this time of year less stressful, and can help you refocus on your own pleasure.

About the author

The Oova Team consists of doctors, researchers, and content experts. We collaborate to bring you medically-backed resources to help support your hormone journey. Learn more about our team.

Sources

Dennerstein, L., Randolph, J., Taffe, J., Dudley, E., & Burger, H. (2002). Hormones, mood, sexuality, and the menopausal transition.

Leventhal J. L. (2000). Management of Libido Problems in Menopause.

Woods, N. F., Mitchell, E. S., & Smith-Di Julio, K. (2010). Sexual desire during the menopausal transition and early postmenopause: observations from the Seattle Midlife Women's Health Study.

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About the Oova Blog:
‍Our content is developed with a commitment to high editorial standards and reliability. We prioritize referencing reputable sources and sharing where our insights come from. The Oova Blog is intended for informational purposes only and is never a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a healthcare provider before making any health decisions.

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